Babblings of a Muppet-Loving Freak

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"Sweet Dreams Are Made of This" Eurythmics
"Every Breath You Take" Police
"Eye in the Sky" Alan Parsons Project

Chapter 11: Nightfall

The night had passed while they were in the Underworld, and bright daylight was around them. While they realized Bobby needed time to grieve, that in fact they all did, that time couldn’t be now. After about an hour, Hank went out to the tree to talk to Bobby, and no one envied him the task. Eric had no idea what he said, but not long after the two of them rejoined the group, Hank keeping his arm protectively around Bobby’s shoulders in exactly the same way Hank’s father had when he’d taken him from the hospital the day they were rescued from the collapsed ride.

“We need to move on,” Hank said. “How do we get to the edge of the west, Venger?”

“Your device did not merely return us to the surface,” Venger said. “It took us to the very edge of the darkened Realm. On the other side of those trees, you will find the land of the Shadow Demon’s power.”

“Then that’s where we’re going,” Bobby said, his voice shaky but determined.

“Right,” Hank said.

The group began the next phase of their journey, continuing onwards, and the moment they went beyond the trees in the meadow, the shadows became somehow deeper. It was the same feeling they had experienced near Varla’s old village. The air seemed too thick, and the further they pressed into the shadows, the more oppressive the feeling became.

“And this is what it’s like in daylight,” Presto said. “Imagine what’s going to happen when the sun goes down.”

“I’d rather not,” Sheila said, watching every bush and tree with care.

But the sun didn’t stop in its path, and true darkness did begin to fall. As it did, the fatigue of being up for better than a day and a half without sleep hit all of them like a small mountain.

“Hank,” Sheila said somewhat timidly, “I know we need to keep going, but if we don’t get some sleep soon, we’re going to fall over.”

“I know,” Hank agreed, “but somebody’s going to have to keep watch.”

“I’ll take the first one,” Eric offered. It was the first thing he’d said since he’d spoken to Diana, and the words were still lifeless.

“Fine,” Hank said, “I’ll take the second.”

“I shall take the third,” Venger offered. “We can keep traveling after that.”

Most of them were asleep no sooner than they had laid down, and Eric was left alone with his dismal thoughts. The noises of the Realm at night were far from comforting, and he kept his shield at the ready. By the time Hank tapped his arm to tell him his shift was over, Eric was so exhausted that even with all the guilt he felt, he was able to sleep dreamlessly.

Terry, however, was not so lucky, which meant neither were the rest of them. Around 2:00, she suddenly screamed, loud and long, and everyone was awake in an instant.

“What did you dream?” Hank asked, and the abruptness of the question was enough of a clue to how harried the Ranger was.

“There was a-a fortress,” Terry said haltingly. “It had four towers, and it was made of black stone, perfectly smooth, and we were rushing towards it. Something was carrying us. I couldn’t see what because it was too dark.”

“And then?” Bobby asked, moving closer to her.

“And then a shadow came at us,” she said, shuddering. “It was enormous, with two white eyes that seemed to look right through me.”

“The Shadow Demon,” Venger said. “What then?”

“I don’t know,” Terry said, shaking her head. “It didn’t make any sense. There was a big wind and a lot of yelling, and then I thought I saw light in a lot of different colors, but the shadow was was hanging over me and… and then I woke up.”

“Do you think it was another dream about the future or just a nightmare?” Hank said.

“I don’t know,” Terry said, still panting. “I haven’t seen anything in my dreams this time in the Realm until now.”

“It was,” Venger said with utter certainty. “I know that place. She has described precisely the Obsidian Fortress. We now know the exact location of our enemy.”

“And we now know yours,” said an unfamiliar voice from above their heads.

Their weapons were in their hands again at once, but it was far too late. In an instant, they were completely surrounded, but Eric couldn’t say by what exactly. The only thing he knew for certain was they had blank, white eyes that gave him shudders. When he tried to use his shield against the creatures, they seemed just to disappear, and when Hank tried to use his energy bow, the light from it evaporated. All he knew for sure was they were strong, there were a whole lot of them, and they were knocking him off his feet.

Judging by the noise around him, Eric realized he wasn’t the only one getting the worst of the battle. He heard Sheila scream and Bobby yelling, “Get away from my sister, you jerk!” but he couldn’t see anything. Eventually, he realized he’d been stuffed inside some kind of bag, and judging by the movement around him, whatever had him was carrying him over the ground very fast. Muffled shouts told him that the rest of the group had probably suffered the same fate.

However, he still had his shield. He couldn’t help thinking that was strange. Why wouldn’t they disarm him? Eric decided not to question good luck and instead tried to use the shield’s pointed end to cut a hole in the sack. Nothing happened. He tried again, bringing the full force of the shield against the material of the bag, and again, nothing happened.

“Quit struggling,” said a colorless voice that belonged to whatever was carrying his bag. “These are enchanted against all magic. You are helpless.”

Eric knitted his brows together, absolutely certain there had to be something he could do. The sacks might be impervious to magic, but what about plain old common sense?”

Carefully, he twisted himself around until he could reach the top of the bag, and he worked his fingers gingerly, trying to find the string that held the sack shut. It hadn’t been tied very well, and after years of deftly sneaking into his father’s pockets to extract cash while he was passed out on the couch, it wasn’t long before Eric had undone the sloppy knot. Hoping it was still dark enough to conceal him if he snuck a quick peek at where they were going and who was carrying them, Eric barely poked his head out of the top of the bag.

What he saw was not reassuring. A whole group about a hundred beings that seemed to be made of nothing but solidified darkness were racing across the ground, and a few of them were indeed carrying sacks much like the one Eric was currently in. They didn’t seem to notice him, so he chanced turning around to see where they were headed. Sure enough, exactly as in Terry’s dream, a fortress of black stone, its four towers barely visible against the darkness of the night sky, lay ahead of them. Venger had possessed some truly terrifying hideouts, and while this place wasn’t in the same league as the Prison of Agony, something about it reeked of Bad News. Eric gulped and ducked back down into his sack before any of the things saw him.

If Terry’s dream held true, and she seemed to be batting a thousand, then the Shadow Demon was in that fortress, and it obviously wanted them alive and with their weapons intact. Maybe it didn’t trust the other shadows working for it? As clues went, it wasn’t much, but Eric would cling to whatever he could at the moment.

The footfalls started to sound hollow, as though the beings were running over a bridge (and that meant they had feet, Eric thought, as well as some kind of weight), and then, abruptly, they stopped. Eric’s sack was thrown none-too-gently onto a stone floor.

“Ow!” he yelled. “I’m pretty sure this is a clear violation of the Geneva Convention and the Treaty of Versailles and the Declaration of Independence and the Magna Carta and a bunch of other stuff I never paid attention to in school!”

A swift kick from one of the creatures sent the bag skittering across the floor, plowing into something soft. The tone of the resulting groan made Eric realize he’d wound up right next to Terry’s bag.

“Terry? You okay, kiddo?” he whispered, honestly concerned.

“I think so,” she murmured back. “Do you know where the others are?”

“I’m not sure, but I think we were all brought in at the same time,” Eric said, wondering if he dared crawl out of his sack. It didn’t sound like any of the beings were close by. “Hang on a sec. I think I can get free.”

Eric checked that the coast was clear and then wriggled through the bag’s opening. They were stashed in a large, empty room that was made of the same black stone as the outside of the fortress. None of the creatures were visible, but Eric wasn’t sure that meant anything. He did a quick count and realized with relief that apparently all nine of them were in the same place, but the sacks were scattered all over the room as though they’d been dropped haphazardly in a hurry.

“Eric?” Terry called quietly. “Are you there?”

“Yeah,” he said, starting to work the strings on her bag. “Almost got it… there!”

Terry emerged looking frightened and a little rough around the edges, but still in pretty good shape. She had the net with her as well.

“See if you can get some of the others out,” he said, turning to another nearby bag, worried that he didn’t hear anyone else talking.

The next nearest sack was significantly larger, and it was no surprise when Venger’s head emerged from its opening.

“They took my knife,” he said, and what scared Eric worse than anything else tonight was seeing fear on Venger’s face. “We’re in the Obsidian Fortress?”

“I don’t know, but the name sure fits,” Eric said, moving to the next bag and glancing up to see that Terry had freed Sheila, who looked to be okay if rather shell shocked. “Make like it’s Christmas and start opening the bags, will you?”

“Yes,” Venger said, shaking his head as though to rouse himself. “That would be wise.”

As Eric started on the next bag, which turned out to be Presto, he realized that so far the only weapon that had been taken from them was a completely ordinary knife. He wasn’t sure what that meant, but he kept his shield close.

“Thanks,” Presto said, sitting up stiffly. “I tried to use my hat in there, but nothing happened.”

“Whatever the bags are made of deflects magic,” Eric said, already working on the next bag. “Try again.”

Venger had produced Hank, and Terry had found Varla and Bobby, so that meant this bag had to be Diana. Eric’s heart stopped when he noticed how perfectly still it was. He realized why when a javelin nearly struck him in the face when he opened the sack.

“Geez, Diana!” Eric said, still keeping his voice low. “You could take somebody’s eye out with that thing.”

“That was the general idea. I didn’t know it was you,” she said, leaping from the sack.

Terry’s net was making its rounds through the group quickly, healing minor injuries as well as what was probably a fractured wrist for Bobby, when suddenly the temperature of the room dropped.

“What’s happening?” Sheila asked, her hair blowing wildly around her face. “It’s like someone opened the door during a hurricane!”

Eric had never been near a hurricane, but he guessed it was probably a good bet that Sheila was right. Turning around, he saw that the entire wall behind them had disappeared and now opened into a vast, black nothingness. The wind didn’t come from it but blew towards it, and slowly they were being drawn towards the emptiness.

“Everybody, draw your weapons!” Hank called over the windstorm.

The dim glow they emitted did little to combat the darkness, but at least they knew they weren’t alone. Eric moved forward beside Hank, the others following to form a wall, shoulder to shoulder against whatever was about to come at them out of the darkness. He couldn’t help thinking that if he had to go, that being surrounded by friends wouldn’t be the worst way. However, he had absolutely no intention of losing this battle or of letting anyone else on his side lose it either.

"Eyes without a Face" Billy Idol
"Screaming in the Night" Krokus
"I Want to Know What Love Is" Foreigner

Chapter 12: The Shadow Strikes

When the two enormous white eyes opened in the darkness, Eric managed not to give a petrified yelp, but it was a near miss.

“Welcome, my old master,” said a voice that sounded both oily and menacing. “I am so happy you have decided to visit my humble abode.”

“Shadow Demon,” Venger said, summoning a voice much more like his old one than anything they had heard on this trip, even with Ughar, “I command you to let us go, return my father to me, and leave this world.”

“No,” the voice responded, and a huge shadow, much larger than it had been when it worked for Venger, disengaged itself from the darkness and came towards them. “Is that not a lovely sounding word? No. I was never permitted to say it to you before, but I have the chance now.”

“Leave us in peace,” Hank said, his tone one of cold command. “That isn’t a request either.”

“It is not?” Shadow Demon said, sounding amused. “I believe I shall enjoy making you beg for your life, Ranger.”

A loud thump resounded from the other end of the line of warriors, and Bobby called out, “We don’t beg, you freak!”

The next moment, the club hit the floor again with even greater force, and Eric expected half the fortress to cave in around them, but it did almost nothing except send a few small flakes of stone falling from the ceiling to the ground.

“This far into shadow, Barbarian, your weapons are not what they once were,” the Shadow Demon said, laughing low.

“Oh yeah?” Hank said, drawing his energy bow.

A single bolt flashed through the air, and for a moment Eric thought it might do something, but the Shadow Demon merely waved it away.

“That doesn’t make sense,” Diana said at Eric’s elbow.

“What doesn’t? Eric asked.

“A shadow is just the absence of light,” Diana said, staring at Shadow Demon. “If you put light against a shadow, it just dissolves. Hank’s energy bow is basically light, so why didn’t it shoot a hole in Shadow Demon?”

“It is not that kind of a shadow,” Venger said, staring at it bleakly.

“Really?” Eric said, deciding this was getting them nowhere. “Okay. Hey, Shadow Demon! Exactly what kind of a shadow are you? We’ve just been discussing it and can’t figure it out. Personally, I’m guessing you’re made of dryer lint. How close am I?”

“I am made of the darkness of the human heart,” Shadow Demon said, its voice becoming a sibilant hiss that raised goose bumps on Eric’s arms. “I am the hopelessness that comes when the soul is sick with grief. I am the thoughts that bend humans towards destruction even though they know they will only destroy themselves. I am the heart that has turned from light and gone cold as the black stone of which this fortress is built. I am the ultimate despair that makes beings of all worlds grind their teeth in endless regret and horror.”

“So… not dryer lint then,” Eric said, trying to act nonchalant even though he was terrified. “My mistake.”

“And if that’s all true, why exactly haven’t you killed us already?” Diana asked, sounding fierce.

“In good time,” it said. “I want those weapons of yours, but it is of no use to me to take them from you unless I win them fairly. I shall challenge you each in turn, and once I have vanquished you, then I shall kill you.”

“What if we don’t want to play?” Sheila said, thrusting her chin out boldly.

“Then I shall find ways of motivating you,” it said, coming closer.

Presto had been carefully putting his hand into hat as the others spoke, keeping the Shadow Demon occupied, and he suddenly pulled out the Crystal of the Two Suns.

“Take that!” he said, and a beam of white light shot from the heart of the crystal at the demon, making it shriek in protest.

But it kept coming slowly forward.

Presto stared at the crystal, thumped it a few times on his hand, and tried again.

“Foolish Magician,” the Shadow Demon said. “Did you not hear what I said? Simple light, even that of the two suns, is not enough to undo me anymore. It may wound me a little, but it will not stop me.”

Eric was suddenly aware of a reddish glow coming from his right. Glancing over, he saw that Sheila’s hand was its source. She had noticed it at exactly the same moment and realized what it was.

“The Ring of Heart?” she said, holding it up to look at it but still confused. “But… what? What’s it doing?”

The glow became gradually brighter the closer Shadow Demon came to her, but once its dim light actually fell on the creature, it turned back with a sudden cry.

“That’s it!” Hank yelled. “The Shadow Demon is just what it said; it’s made up of the absence of hope, the absence of heart.”

“And the ring is the opposite of that,” Sheila said, almost as though she were thinking aloud, but the ring’s light started to sputter, “and it looks like it’s running out of gas!”

“Get away from her!” Bobby said threateningly, breaking from his place in line to stand in front of his sister, anger blazing from his eyes as he held his club aloft, even knowing that it was useless.

And suddenly, the ring blazed brightly again.

“It’s feeding off our emotions!” Sheila called to them.

“The light that can dispel the Shadow Demon isn’t a literal light… it’s the light inside us!” Presto said. “The only thing that can dispel that kind of shadow is, well, heart!”

“Oh great, I’ve walked into the middle of a Hallmark card commercial,” Eric said, sighing dramatically.

Presto was standing near Sheila already, and Varla joined him, taking his hand.

“I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you in the swamp years ago,” Presto said. “I can’t explain it. I just do.”

“And I have loved you for as long,” she said, kissing him gently.

The intensity of the ring’s light tripled, making the Shadow Demon screech in pain and back further along the floor.

“Well, that oughta do it,” Eric said, leaning on his shield.

But he was wrong. The Shadow Demon began coming towards them again, fighting against the beam whose light was starting to suffuse the whole chamber, although it looked significantly less solid. Seeing what was happening, Hank stepped forward.

“I care about all of you,” he said, looking deeply uncomfortable. “If I had to wind up in this insane world with anybody, I’m glad it was you guys. You’ve followed me, even when I was wrong, and I’m proud to have been your leader. And… oh, to hell with it!”

Eric was stunned to turn his head and realize that Hank was kissing Sheila, and Sheila looked every bit as surprised.

“Huh?” Bobby said, summing up Eric’s reaction, and the ring became exponentially brighter.

When he finally drew back from her, she shook her head and smiled.

“It took you long enough,” she said. “If I’d known it would just take a little bitty apocalypse, I’d have gotten my own rolling years ago!”

Bobby and Terry looked extremely embarrassed, but they joined hands, saying absolutely nothing, and the ring continued to get brighter.

Eric felt awkward, but more than that he felt bad for Diana. She had loved, of course, but Kosar walked with the stars now, or whatever phrase Dungeon Master had used instead of the plain truth, which seemed to be that he was dead. They were both on the outskirts of the group looking in, surrounded by the light that the others had created, and he felt a coldness gripping his heart.

At that exact moment, the Shadow Demon seemed to grow stronger again and began to crawl towards them, gaining momentum. It was getting opaque again.

“That’s right,” it said, coming closer. “Feed me on your hurts, your slights, your envies, your petty jealousies. I can feel them. The Barbarian still bears the icy shard of hate in his heart for the Cavalier at the death of his beloved pet.”

Bobby looked sickened.

“I… I didn’t,” Bobby stammered as he looked at Eric. “I know you didn’t mean to, Eric, but it’s still hard.”

“And the Cavalier’s heart echoes like this chamber,” it continued. “A father drunk night after night, a mother who treats him as a burden, a younger brother who has never found cause to look up to him, friends who know him for the albatross he is, and the object of his heart unattainable because she would rather love the ghost of a man far superior to him than one close at hand. You don’t even want to go home again, do you? You have no home. You have no family. You have no friends. You have never loved anyone but yourself, and no one will ever love you.”

Eric shuddered violently. It wasn’t merely the words, the echo of Diana’s that night in the desert, though they would have been enough. Having all his most secret thoughts dragged into the open was hideously painful. He had no mask left, no shield to hide behind any more, and the Shadow Demon fed off his pain, sending out tendrils of darkness that slipped around him like serpents, enclosing him like a suffocating cocoon. He didn’t even have the strength to try to fight back, and in a moment of paralyzing sadness, he found he didn’t care. He’d felt something close to this before in the worst moments, when he sat in his room and stared at the ceiling at night, wondering whether if he disappeared from the face of the earth tomorrow his parents would even notice, let alone care. With the smallest, grimmest laugh that was more like a sob, he realized he actually had, and no, they hadn’t even realized he’d been gone.

“Fight it, Eric!” he heard Bobby’s voice say dimly through the darkness that surrounded him. “I forgive you! You didn’t do anything wrong!”

The smallest bit of light reached him, just enough that he struggled to move, just a little, just to remember he was alive. But the Shadow Demon was crushing him with its full weight, gaining back its substance from his misery, and it tightened its coils around him.

Then, suddenly, there was light. Eric wasn’t sure where it came from or why it was warm and soft and smelled like honeysuckle. He clasped it closer to him, desperate as a drowning man, not even sure what he was clutching, but the misery that had latched onto him lessened with each moment that he touched it. The suffocating sense of loneliness and helplessness began to recede, and he found he could think again.

It was then that he realized Diana was in his arms.

“I don’t… I don’t…,” he said, stammering out his words.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she said. “Relax, Eric. I’m sorry for what I said. I just… loving someone who couldn’t possibly hurt me anymore was a lot safer than loving somebody who was actually here, but I do, so just keep fighting this thing.”

“Excuse me,” Eric said, sounding much more calm than he actually was, “but did you just say you loved me?”

“Yeah,” Diana said, and he found he could actually focus on her face again, which looked rather nervous at the moment.

“Good. Just checking,” he said before finally, finally kissing her.

Sheila’s ring was all but a small sun by now, not that Eric found himself particularly caring, and the Shadow Demon was a mere wisp of itself as it turned to Venger.

“He wants you back,” it said, its voice cracked and small, almost pitiful if it weren’t so lethal. “The One Who Has No Name will take you back into his fold. Think of it, Venger. No more looks of suspicion when your intentions are innocent, no more groveling before those you could destroy, and all the power you could possibly want. You could have your magic returned to you, multiplied a thousand fold. You could make them suffer for what they have done. That is your secret wish, is it not? You can be more than you ever were before. You know I speak the truth.”

Eric looked up from Diana at that. Venger’s eyes were flickering to red again, and he seemed to be sweating, something Eric hadn’t seen him do even in the highest heat of the desert. He was trembling uncontrollably, and he squeezed his eyes shut as if he were in agony.

“Venger,” Varla said, pleading, “please.”

Something about the tone of his former victim’s voice changed his expression, and he strode towards Shadow Demon, his steps level and even.

“I took that road before,” he said, “and I did not like its destination. There is nothing you possess that I want, Shadow Demon. You have lost.”

With a sudden movement, he grabbed Diana’s javelin and thrust it into the place where the Shadow Demon’s heart should have been. With a faint cry, it dissolved into nothing and was gone.

"You Can Do Magic" America
"Two Hearts Beat as One" U2
"Solsbury Hill" Peter Gabriel

Chapter 13: Meetings and Farewells

The sun suddenly shone through the gaping hole in the Fortress of Obsidian, and the creatures that had brought them there sprang into the room in surprise, only for the sunlight to turn them into stone. Bobby lifted his club and pounded it against the floor, and the horrific statues turned into dust.

“Thank you, Barbarian,” said a familiar voice behind him. “I found those works of art somewhat less than to my taste.”

“Dungeon Master!” Bobby cried happily, spinning around to see the little old man hobbling towards them.

Dungeon Master looked frail and thin, but his smile was radiant.

“I have been trapped in the shadows of this fortress for many months,” he said, “held prisoner by that creature of evil, but you have freed me. I cannot thank you enough.”

“No problem, D.M.,” Eric said, brushing off his armor. “All in a day’s work, right, guys?”

“And you, my son,” Dungeon Master said, his eyes filling with tears as Venger knelt down to his level, “I am so very proud of you.”

Venger said nothing, but he looked far more human than ever before.

“Hey,” Sheila asked, looking at the Ring of Heart on her hand. “How did Kareena know I was going to need this anyway?”

“She’s my daughter, after all,” Dungeon Master said, accepting the ring back from her. “It runs in the family.”

“You ever wonder what the conversation must have been like around the dinner table with that group?” Eric asked Diana, and she laughed.

“I know you must want to return to your own world now,” Dungeon Master said, turning to the rest of them. “I can do that for you now that Shadow Demon has been vanquished.”

“Um, yeah, about that,” Presto said, looking embarrassed. “We kind of have a problem.”

“Ah yes, Magician,” Dungeon Master said, smiling knowingly. “You and Varla would not wish to be separated forever, I know, and I have no intention of keeping you apart. The Crystal of the Two Suns is yours to keep, and when it is held to the light of your world, you need only wish to return here, and you may come.”

“What about the rest of us?” Bobby asked.

“Yes, all of you,” Dungeon Master said. “You may return whenever you wish. Oh, and Barbarian? You may be interested in what is in the next room.”

“What?” he asked, walking through the door.

The next moment, everyone heard a loud shout, and as they charged in to see what was the matter, they stopped, completely dumb-founded.

“Uni!” he yelled joyfully as her threw his arms around her neck. “Oh, girl, I’m so happy to see you again! But how?”

“You never saw the unicorn’s body. Have you forgotten, Barbarian, that unicorns can teleport once each day?” Dungeon Master said, smiling as he patted the unicorn’s knee.

“Yeah, but only for short distances,” Bobby said.

“Normally, yes, but the Dungeon at the Edge of Dawn increases the power of everything,” Dungeon Master explained. “Uni knew that she was hurt too badly for the well to fix, so she used the brief surge of strength it gave her to teleport herself to me, and I was able to help.”

“I thought you were trapped in the shadows,” Eric said.

“I was,” Dungeon Master said, then gave a mysterious grin. “Well, mostly.”

“You’re never, ever going to completely explain anything, are you?” Eric asked.

“No, Cavalier,” Dungeon Master said. “What would be the fun in that?”

After a rather lengthy goodbye between Presto and Varla, Dungeon Master opened a portal to the amusement park, which was still bathed in moonlight, and they passed through, back into their own world, where almost no time had passed at all.

“Well, that wasn’t boring,” Eric said, clambering up the debris from the ride and then turning to give a hand to Diana, only to find that she’d beaten him to the top.

“Yeah,” Hank said as he emerged beside Sheila, with Bobby and Presto close behind. “But it’s good to be home.”

Eric wasn’t quite sure which dimension he thought of as home anymore, but when Diana slipped her hand into his as they crept carefully through the deserted amusement park, he found he didn’t much care.

"Waiting for a Girl Like You" Foreigner
"Glory of Love" Peter Cetera
"I Melt with You" Modern English
"Don't Stop Believin'"

Chapter 14: Twelve Years Later…

“I’m telling you, Diana, this armor shrank in the wash!” Eric yelled as he struggled to buckle his greaves.

“Right,” she said, pushing a lock of hair from her eyes and tucking it gracefully behind the circlet of gold and rubies she wore on her head. “I’m sure that the three triple decker hamburgers you had at Bobby’s bachelor party last night had absolutely nothing to do with it.”

Eric sniffed disdainfully and checked his reflection in the mirror. He looked pretty darn good, if he said so himself.

“So what time does this thing start again?” he asked, but she just shook her head with a smile.

“You’ll only run late if you know,” she said, “now move it, Cavalier!”

“I would not,” Eric grumbled, walking down the staircase with her and into their sitting room. “Just because I nearly missed Sheila and Hank’s wedding five years ago, which most definitely not my fault. Nobody should be expected to factor an Orc attack into their driving time.”

“Okay, fine, you get a pass on that one, but only because you’re cute,” she said, swatting the seat of his armor, then leaving the room.

“Damn straight,” he said, looking smug as he took the time to enjoy the view from their home.

The Realm spread before them in a beautiful swirl of green and blue, and pink rosebuds (obviously Presto and Varla’s work) were wafting softly through the breeze over the assembled humans and other beings who were there to see Dungeon Master lead Terry and Bobby through their vows. Eric seriously hoped the best man, Jimmy Whittaker of all people, had talked Bobby out of wearing the horned helmet during the ceremony… if anyone had even yet gotten him to believe he was really there. Eric was pretty sure Whittaker would eventually chalk the whole thing up to a post-stag party hangover.

“Hypatia and I want to know what you’re thinking about,” Diana said, re-entering the room while carrying their infant daughter.

“Just that I eventually found what I kept griping about for all those years,” Eric said.

“And that would be?” she said, passing the baby to him.

“Home,” he said, smiling at his wife before they rejoined their friends for the celebration.