Babblings of a Muppet-Loving Freak

And onwards again...



"Hungry Like the Wolf" Duran Duran
"Eye of the Tiger" Survivor
"Hard to Say I'm Sorry" Chicago

Chapter 7: Predators and Prey

The trip was long, dusty, and tiring. The blowing sand swept across their faces, and anyone who tried to speak soon had a mouthful of grit. Rahmoud had provided each of them with scarves to ward off the worst of the wind, and the hot sun beat down on them mercilessly. The air was filled only with the sound of wind. Everything else was silence.

Slowly but surely, the sun began its descent into the west behind them, and Hank finally brought his korzna to a stop, signaling for the others to make camp. They positioned their korznas in a ring around their small campfire to act as a windbreak. Eric rooted through his bag and came up with some kind of beef jerky (though he decided it was better not to ask exactly what kind of animal the beef was actually from) and passed around a portion to everyone while Sheila filled cups with the water in her sack. They were quiet for a while, each one chewing and sipping thoughtfully, wondering what lay ahead.

“Okay, well, I guess we can agree that anything with Harrison Ford in it is good,” Bobby said to Terry, breaking the silence.

“You guys are still arguing Star Wars vs. Indiana Jones?” Eric said, staring at them.

“We never really finished it,” Terry said.

Eric rolled his eyes, but he was glad somebody had finally spoken. He had something in mind he wanted to ask, but he wasn’t sure he if the answer was something he wanted to hear. Granted, that had never stopped him before.

“Venger?” he said, looking across the campfire at the man who was eating slightly apart from the circle. “What exactly is the Shadow Demon? He worked for you for a long time, so if anybody knows, you would.”

Venger stopped and looked up at the rest of the group, his eyes flickering in the firelight.

“He was bound to me as my slave when I formed my bargain with the Nameless One,” Venger said, sounding as though he didn’t want to remember this. “I never trusted him, but then I trusted no one. As to what he is, I have only suspicions.”

“Like what?” asked Presto.

“He is powerful. Though he appears to be mere shadow, lacking substance, he can also move objects, break through solid ice, and touch both things and beings. When he chooses, he can blend into any shadow, melting into the darkness. You have no idea how many times he followed you in the days you were here. He was the perfect spy,” Venger said.

“So… he could actually be here right now and we wouldn’t even know?” Diana asked, glancing at the darkness outside the circle of their campfire.

“Yes,” Venger said, looking stoically at the flames. “He could be anywhere. And his power is growing.”

All of them looked around at once, wondering what else was under the darkness of the stars.

“I think…,” Venger said slowly, “I think he may be a fragment of the Nameless One, a shattered remnant left in its wake, though I have no proof. There is no good in him, no warmth, no humanity, nothing. There is only an endless hunger for power and the misery of others.”

“Nice,” Eric said, shuddering. “How many times did this guy make your Employee of the Month club?”

“Can’t you ever be serious, Eric?” Diana said, annoyed.

“What, is being serious about this thing going to make it any easier to defeat?” he shot back. “What am I supposed to do? Cry? Scream? Head for the hills?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Diana said, giving him an icy glare. “I’m tired. We should all get some shut eye.”

“Agreed,” Hank said, but Eric realized the Ranger was staring at him, and he knew his cheeks had flushed red at the reminder that he’d been a coward more than once. “We have to leave early tomorrow. Everybody stay close in to the fire, and if there’s any trouble, yell. Loud.”

They pulled out sleeping bags and remained in a circle, the three moons glowing brightly overhead. Eric was too tired from not sleeping the previous night to remain awake long in spite of the sting he still felt from Diana’s words, but his dreams were far from pleasant.

No one saw a single shadow dart across the fire or a pair of vacant white eyes glare maliciously at the group from the darkness.

The strike came an hour before dawn. The only warning was an almost ear-shattering cry of alarm from Uni, but that was all they needed. On instinct, every member of the group immediately took up defensive positions, reaching for weapons that had never been further than mere inches from their hands all night. It was as though they’d never left the Realm. They were a unit again, and somehow Terry, Varla, and Venger fit perfectly into place, closing any remaining gaps.

For a moment, everything remained quiet, the crackling of the dying fire sounding abnormally loud. Then, from every direction at once, howling began.

“What’s that?” Presto asked, peering into the night between the korznas. “It sounds like… like wolves.”

“Really, really big wolves,” Sheila said, gritting her teeth.

“No,” Varla said, shutting her eyes, her face twitching in spasms. “I can almost see them. They are… Worgs!”

The last word was said in shriek, and the howling returned, but mixed with intelligible speech.

“Foolish humans,” the chorus took up around them. “Why have you returned to this world that was never yours?”

“None of your beeswax!” Eric spat at them, but the Worgs merely howled in menacing laughter.

“The Shadow Demon promised us a rare treat,” the Worgs said as if they were one animal, their voices echoing from every direction. “Fresh meat, fresh kill, hearts soft as melted butter.”

“Ugh,” Bobby said.

“You said it,” Diana agreed. “Look, either fight or go home, puppy dogs, but stop wasting our time.”

Throughout this, Varla had kept her eyes closed, a look of total concentration on her features as though she were fighting a battle that the others didn’t know about, but Presto noticed.

“What’s happening?” he whispered to her.

“They are trying to sap us, surrounding us with gloom,” she said. “It’s their primary weapon. It is taking all of my power to keep it at bay, but I don’t know how much longer I can fend them off. There are so many of them!”

Eric noticed that Venger was regarding Varla with heightened respect, and that by itself told him just how hard of a task Varla had in front of her.

“Okay, guys, now!” Hank yelled, and all at once the battle was upon them.

Yellow eyes by the dozens suddenly glowed in dying light from the fire, and then abruptly one of the korznas screamed and fell on its side, frighteningly still, struck by a rock delivered by an unseen hand. The others took off across the desert, trumpeting wildly, and then the Worgs were suddenly everywhere.

Eric heard the hum of Hank’s energy bow taking shot after shot, most of them quickly followed by a yelp and the scent of singed fur. Bobby’s club was also in high evidence as the ground began to shake violently. Somewhere behind him, he heard Diana throwing Worgs two at a time from her javelin, grunting with effort. Eerily, in the midst of all the tumult, Varla remained perfectly still, her features motionless and strained, obviously still fighting the Worgs’ mental weapon.

Of course, Eric didn’t have a whole lot of time to take in all of this as he was pretty busy smashing his shield left and right, scattering the hideous wolf-demon hybrids as much as he could, and we was pretty sure he’d sent several of them limping back towards the west. There were just too many of them, though, and he wasn’t sure how much longer they could hold out.

“Alakazam, alakazee, give these big dogs a reason to flee!” Presto shouted as his hat glowed brightly.

“Yeah, that oughta work,” Eric scoffed under his breath, and then the strangest thing happened; the Worgs really did start to run away.

“Hey, it worked!” Presto cried in glee as at least two dozen Worgs ran off, yelping all the way.

“I don’t get it,” Eric said, staring around him at the retreating monsters. “What did you do?”

And then it became clear as the last two Worgs ran away, scratching crazily at their hindquarters as though something were biting them.

“I don’t believe it!” Sheila said, reappearing from underneath her cloak where she had been throwing rocks at the wolves. “Presto, you gave them all fleas!”

“That wasn’t the kind of flee I meant, but I’ll take it!” Presto said, happily putting his hat back on his head.

Venger, who had been fighting with a large knife, stared around at them, and Eric could almost swear he heard him mumble under his breath, “These were my arch nemeses?”

By now a thin sliver of sunlight was spreading across the east, and the danger had passed. Sadly, they looked around the remains of their camp, realizing most of their supplies had been trampled underfoot in the battle.

“Does anybody know how to call back the korznas?” Terry asked, squinting into the distance.

“No,” Hank said. “I’m pretty sure they’re all the way back to Rahmoud by now anyway. We’re just going to have to walk the rest of the way. Sheila, how much water do we have left?”

“Not much,” she said, holding up two canteens. “This is it. All the other canteens broke in the fight.”

“Right,” he said, looking worried. “Venger, do you know of any place around here with water?”

“Not in the desert, no,” Venger said, “though there is a pool nearer the entrance to the Underworld. It should be about a six hours’ walk.”

“Six hours?” Bobby said, boggling. “In this heat? We’re never gonna make it!”

“Oh yes we will,” Hank said determinedly. “And we’re starting right now before it gets any hotter.”

They began walking across the desert, heading directly towards the rising suns. Uni started by taking Bobby and Terry onto her back again, but each of the others had a brief respite in turn. Finally, though, after a good four hours had passed, even Uni was beginning to become exhausted from the heat and the lack of water, and when Diana tried to get on her back for her break, Uni had shaken her head sadly.

“That’s okay,” Diana said, scratching her mane affectionately. “You’ve done way more than enough.”

Uni bleated apologetically. Eric had been using his shield as a makeshift parasol, but he glanced up at it and then at Diana. She wasn’t looking too good.

“Here,” he said, handing her the shield. “I need to work on my tan anyway.”

“Really?” she said, looking surprised.

“Yes, really,” he said, sounding a little offended. “I can occasionally be gallant. I am a Cavalier after all.”

“Well, thanks, I guess” she said, taking the shield but still looking unsure.

“I, uh,” he paused, not sure what to say. “Look, I’m sorry about what I said the other night, you know, about…”

He wasn’t sure whether saying Kosar’s name would be a good idea.

“…about that one guy. You’re the only one who knows how you felt, and I shouldn’t have tried to argue with you about it.”

“Did you seriously just apologize to me?” Diana asked, stopping in the seemingly endless walk and staring at him.

“Yeah, so shoot me,” Eric said.

“I think I actually am gonna faint now. Either that or the heat’s getting to you,” she said, but she smiled at him, and somehow he knew they were alright again.

They walked on, and it seemed as though a lot more than six hours had passed before they saw the slightest glint of green on the horizon. Eric wasn’t sure whether to trust his eyes, wondering if it could be a mirage, but for all their sakes he really hoped it wasn’t. Sheila and Varla in particular with their red hair and fair skin looked like they had very bad sunburns. As they came closer, they realized it was no mirage at all but the pool Venger had told them about. With their last remaining scraps of energy, they staggered onwards until they collapsed on their bellies by the water and drank deeply. It was easily the most delicious thing Eric had ever tasted.

“Okay,” he said, wiping his mouth with his fist , “where to now?”

“First we take a break,” Hank said, pulling off one of his boots and pouring sand out of it along with a couple good-sized stones.

“Yeah,” Presto agreed, slumping against a boulder. “Even my hat is drooping.”

Terry was already using the net on Sheila and Varla, both of whom were teetering on the edge of sun poisoning. Thankfully the net worked wonders, and they were both well again in moments. She then went to each of the others in turn, healing blisters, scrapes, and bruises from the long journey. The net even seemed to relieve the weariness they all felt after their earlier battle and then their long walk.

“Let’s move,” Hank said all too soon. “We better reach the entrance to the Underworld by nightfall. Those Worgs might try to attack again tonight.”

“Yeah, and maybe they’ve bought flea collars,” Eric said, hoisting himself up from the sand and listening to his armor creak in protest. “How much further?”

“The entrance to the Underworld is at the base of those hills,” Venger said, pointing towards their faint outline in the distance.

“Okay,” Hank said, nodding. “We should be able to make that before dark if we leave now.”

Uni blew a raspberry, but they set off again, crossing the sand that was rippling away into the distance like water. At least the remaining canteens were full again, but the day was no less hot, and the sun beat down upon them viciously. A wind kicked up, and at first everyone was glad of it, but it grew stronger, and the flying sand grated against their skin. Conversation stopped again, and keeping sight of their destination started to be difficult. The suns had passed their zenith and were behind them now, making their shadows start to grow in front of them. Considering their enemy, Eric found that creepy. At every step he half expected his own shadow would suddenly open a pair of searing white eyes and reach out to strangle him.

"Rainbow in the Dark" Dio
"Pressure" Billy Joel
"In the Air Tonight" Phil Collins

Chapter 8: Afraid of the Dark

After what felt like forever, the hills appeared much larger, and their appearance wasn’t at all reassuring. They didn’t look natural at all but were perfectly round, rising to abnormally symmetrical domes of pale yellow stone. Presto squinted at them through his glasses as the sand continued to last against them.

“This place just feels wrong,” he said. “It’s like, I don’t know…”

“It’s like they aren’t really there,” Varla said, finding the words he couldn’t, then she turned to Sheila. “What do you see?”

“Four hills, each one a little taller than the next going from left to right, covered in grass,” Sheila said automatically.

“No, three hills, sis,” Bobby said, “and there’s no grass, only gravel.”

Hank shook his head.

“One really jagged looking hill made of some kind of red quartz, and a smaller one that’s smoother and more of a purple,” he said.

“Wait, all of us are seeing something different?” Eric asked. “So which of us is looking at the real thing?”

“All of us, or maybe none of us,” Varla said, staring at the place before them. “It’s an illusion, and a very complicated one to make each of us see it differently. We should stay still until we figure out what to do. For all we know, we’re really standing on the edge of a precipice.”

“If anyone would know illusions, it would be you,” Venger said, “but how do we remove it to see what’s beneath?”

“I’m not sure we can,” Varla said, worrying her lip. “There must be a way.”

Just then, Uni tossed her reddish mane decisively and thumped Bobby on the shoulder with her muzzle.

“What is it, girl?” he asked, and the unicorn replied in excited babble while grabbing a horn on his helmet and tugging him forward. “Hey, I think she wants us to follow her!”

“Of course!” Varla said. “This illusion is meant for human eyes, not the eyes of a unicorn. She can probably see clearly.”

“Okay, so I’ll grab Uni, and everybody form a chain,” Bobby said.

“Be sure to step only where everyone before you has,” Varla warned them. “We have no idea what she’s leading us past.”

They linked hands, one behind the next like a game of Crack the Whip with the unicorn at the head. Bobby held on to her neck, and his hand reached back to Terry, who in turn held Sheila’s hand, who was linked to Hank, then Varla, Presto, Diana, Eric, and finally Venger bringing up the rear once more.

“Geez, your hands are cold!” Eric yelped, grasping Venger’s fingers. “We’re in the middle of the desert, for crying out loud! Don’t you have any circulation?”

“No,” Venger said.

“Oh,” Eric said, feeling a chill go down his own spine. “Yeah, that’s not disturbing at all.”

They started off slowly, Uni picking her way carefully forward, and the rest of them following in her wake, trying to tread in one another’s footsteps. This wasn’t as easy as it sounded since the unicorn was taking quite a circuitous path, and at different times each of them thought they were about to smash right into solid rock only to pass through it like mist. Finally, a darkness descended over all of them, so thick that no one could see at all. The only reality left was following, one foot after the other, and the hands of the people next to them.

Suddenly, after a quarter of an hour of darkness, Diana lost her footing and seemed to be falling off something, and Eric and Presto only just managed to pull her back onto the path before her hand slipped from theirs.

“Are you okay?” Eric asked.

“No,” Diana said, favoring one foot. “I think I sprained my ankle.”

She tried taking another step on it only to yelp in pain, her hand squeezing Eric’s so tightly that he was sure she was worried about falling again.

“What about Terry’s net?” Presto asked, calling down the line. “That should fix it!”

“It’s too risky,” Hank said. “We’d all have to pass it back, and I don’t think we should break hand contact that long.”

“Besides, it only works when someone’s sitting or lying down,” Terry said, sounding worried. “I don’t think it’s safe to sit there.”

“Okay, then we go with plan B,” Eric said, carefully scooting closer to Diana.

“And what would plan B be?” Diana asked.

“Piggy back ride,” Eric said, trying to sound flippant even though he was frankly terrified at how close he must be to the edge of something. “Just get your hands around my neck.”

“Are you out of your mind?” she yelled.

“Probably,” he said, “but you can’t walk, and we’re not leaving you here. The only other option is for someone to carry you, and it needs to be whoever’s closest, which is either me or Presto. So unless you want Merlin’s pointy hat sticking you in the eye, it looks like I’m your noble steed.”

He didn’t want to say it out loud, but the truth was he was also pretty sure he was stronger than Presto, too, but there was no reason to rub it in. Well, not right now at least.

“Eric, are you sure about this?” Hank called back to them.

“Yeah, as long as Diana’s game, so am I,” he said, trying to sound a lot braver than he felt at that moment. He passed his shield back to Venger, who still had a free hand. Eric shivered. He really, really hated heights.

“Okay,” Diana said, her tone more than a little uncertain. “Presto, try to keep hold on my javelin. We don’t want to get separated.”

“Right,” he said, and there were some fumbling noises.

“Presto, that’s the clasp on my top,” Diana said through what sounded like gritted teeth.

“Sorry!” he yelped as though he’d been burned. “Okay, I think I’ve got it now.”

Eric felt her let go of his hand and carefully edge her way behind him, pressing as close to him as possible. As her hands skittered over his back in the dark and he could feel the heat of her body through his armor, he kept mentally repeating to himself, “I’m holding Venger’s hand, I’m holding Venger’s hand, I’m holding Venger’s hand,” to keep from getting too distracted.

“Ready?” she asked him, her mouth very close behind his right ear.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice cracking a little. “Hold tight.”

He bent and grasped her behind one knee as he felt her arms go around his neck. It was tricky, what with the end of her javelin between them in the back and Venger still connected to his left hand, but he managed to help her hoist herself into a fair imitation of a piggy back. She had to cross her ankles in front of him since he couldn’t keep holding onto her legs, though, which was just all kinds of awkward. Carefully, he took hold of the javelin with his right hand and followed its length back to Presto, who was still holding the other end.

“Gotcha!” he said, grabbing Presto’s hand as Diana removed the javelin and turned it back into something the size of a pencil. “You okay back there?”

“I think so,” she said.

“Fine, then let’s keep moving,” Hank said, and they continued along the path, weaving back and forth erratically.

Eric was, in all honesty, not the most comfortable he’d ever been in his life, but he tried not to show it for Diana’s sake. He had to admit, though, that it wasn’t any hardship to feel her this close to him. Granted, they might fall to their deaths at any moment, but still, there were worse ways to go.

All at once, it was as though someone had flipped a switch. The cavern where they now stood was flooded with reddish light, and they could finally see where they had been. Behind them, stretching off into the distance, was a thin, suspended ribbon of stone looped crazily back and forth like a roller coaster without any visible means of support. In places, it had been no more than a foot’s breadth wide, and beneath it was a fiery abyss so deep that no bottom was visible. They had finally been able to see it when Venger’s foot had reached solid ground, the very last of them to leave the path behind.

“We just walked over that?” Bobby asked, his eyes starting out of his head. “Oh, man, am I ever glad I couldn’t see that before!”

Eric felt a little woozy himself.

“We’re safe now,” Hank said, though even the Ranger’s voice sounded a little stunned. “Terry, how’s about that net?”

The girl nodded, her gaze transfixed by the dangerous road they’d taken, but she pulled the net from her bag and started towards Diana, but not before nearly yanking Bobby’s arm out of its socket since she’d forgotten to let go of his hand.

Eric carefully set her down, letting her use him to steady herself as she sat on the stone floor of the cave. Terry’s net worked almost at once, and Diana, after testing her strength a bit, declared herself good as new, and the group moved on.

“Thanks,” she said to Eric quietly. “I really owe you one.”

“No big deal,” he said, ducking his head awkwardly.

However, when she kissed him on the cheek and then moved back towards Sheila and Hank, Eric decided it was actually a very big deal indeed.

“Hey!” Presto said, spinning around to look back at the path. “I just realized something! That was the Plains of Fire!”

“I’m so glad we know that, Presto,” Eric said. “I feel very enlightened. What does that even mean?!”

“The wizard is right,” Venger said, looking behind them. “That was the first test of the Underworld on the way to the Dungeon at the Heart of Dawn.”

“You mean the ledge where you got stuck last time, Presto?” Sheila asked.

“Yeah, the one that was crumbling to pieces when Dungeon Master teleported me out of there. It’s the same abyss, I’m sure of it, so that must be all that’s left of that whole cliff,” Presto said.

“So one down and a bunch more to go,” Sheila said, sounding less than enthusiastic. “I sure hope we don’t find out anything else has gotten more interesting around here.”

“Looks like we’re about to find out,” Hank said as they approached a river of molten fire. “Isn’t this where the Salamanders attacked us last time?”

“That was my doing,” Venger said. “I was the one who called them forward. Provided none of us touches that pillar, they should remain beneath the surface.”

“You sent the Salamanders after us?” Bobby asked.

“Yes,” Venger admitted.

“Eric, you so owe me ten bucks!” Bobby said. “I told you that was Venger!”

“I have no memory of a bet ever formally being made,” Eric said, putting his nose in the air as he strode past. “Did you happen to get it in writing?”

“Aww, come on!” Bobby said, trailing after him. “Fair’s fair!”

Venger looked at Sheila and couldn’t help giving a small smile.

“Are they always like this?” he asked.

“Usually,” Sheila said, watching her little brother with an amused grin. “Sometimes it’s worse.”

“I’m surprised there wasn’t a murder in your group within a year of your arrival,” he said.

“Try a week,” Presto agreed, but he was laughing.

"I'm Still Standing" Elton John
"Private Eyes" Hall and Oates
"Cecilia" Simon and Garfunkle

Chapter 9: If It Worked for Cadmus…

They walked along the banks of the fiery river until it ended at the door to the deep, circular stairwell that led to the gold mines where Venger had once used dark dwarfs as forced labor. The steps, however, were still smashed to pieces from their last visit here, and unfortunately the Guardian, a massive purple Worm who had done the smashing, was undoubtedly still waiting at the bottom.

“Okay, guys, any ideas on how to handle this one?” Hank asked, looking cautiously into the darkness below. “My energy bow didn’t even phase that thing last time.”

“Yeah, and my shield went kaput just before Dungeon Master got me out of here,” Eric said, “so I’m no good either.”

“And the stairs are already pretty wrecked, so my club is out,” Bobby said.

“I think what we have is two different problems,” Diana said, sizing up the remains of the stairs. “First, there’s the Guardian, but second, even if we get him out of the way, too many steps are missing for us to go down.”

“Wait,” Sheila said, her eyes lighting up with an idea. “Varla, do you think you could manage to cover all of us with a veil strong enough to fool the Guardian and a whole bunch of Salamanders?”

“Perhaps,” she said, closing her eyes in concentration. “I can see them. I think I should be able to keep up a veil for a short time, but nothing longer than a minute or two at the most.”

“That’s all we’ll need,” Sheila said. “Venger, how do you get those things out of the river again?”

“Any touch on the pillar will awake the Salamanders,” he said, “even if it is only a stone thrown from afar.”

“Great,” Diana said, giving Sheila a look of comprehension. “So all we have to do is get them to take out the Guardian for us while we’re hidden under Varla’s veil!”

“Okay, but how do we get down the stairs?” Terry asked.

“Presto, do you think you can conjure something for us that’ll get us down to the next level in a hurry?” Hank asked.

“I think so,” he said uncertainly, taking off his hat.

“Alright,” Hank said, “this had better work or we’re really in trouble. Diana, can you hit that pillar with your javelin?”

“No problem, and I can catch it on the rebound,” she said, “but I need to get a little closer. You guys stay here and I’ll make sure they have something to chase that’ll lead them to the Guardian.”

“Okay,” Bobby said. “I’ll take care of getting the Guardian up here with my club.”

“Whenever you’re ready, Varla,” Hank said.

Varla looked apologetically at Presto and said, “I’m sorry, but these are rather painful for me even now. You’ll probably still feel something as well.”

“Right,” he said, looking even more nervous. “No pressure. Just pull something out of my hat to get us downstairs while avoiding the Guardian and the Salamanders and ignoring the brain searing agony. What could possibly go wrong?”

“You did not just say that,” Eric said, giving him a jittery look.

But it was too late to stop now. Diana had already started back towards the pillar, and Bobby had tapped his club lightly against the dirt floor so that it glowed with power.

“What’s the signal for us to start?” Bobby asked.

At that moment, a very loud ping rang through the cavern, immediately followed by the sounds of growling, furious hissing, and running feet.

“Uh… that?” Presto said, shrugging.

Bobby immediately thumped his club against the wall of the stairwell, creating a small rock slide. At once another round of growling and hissing emerged, this time out of the darkness below them and growing nearer every moment.

“Cluster as close together as you can,” Varla said, “here, just to the side of the door so we’ll be out of the way.”

They pressed together tightly, forming a dense group with Varla at its center, and when Diana rounded the corner, still running hard, she caught sight of them.

“They’re right behind me!” she yelled, and Eric grabbed her arm to pull her against the rest of them.

No sooner did she take her spot then Varla uttered a loud cry that could almost have been missed in the din from the approaching Salamanders and the equally incensed Guardian. A split second later, it was followed by a twin scream from Presto. Both of them were shaking so hard from the suppressed agony that the whole group could literally feel it from how near they stood to each other. However, the moment Eric tried to find one of them to clamp his hand over their mouths so they’d stay quiet, he realized he couldn’t see anyone. All of them were completely invisible, even to one another.

The screams had died away, and the Salamanders rushed past them, pouring into the open doorway and from the sound of it attacking the enraged Guardian instead of Diana. Repeated deep-throated shrieks suggested the Guardian wasn’t necessarily getting the best of it, either. A particularly loud and echoing bellow was followed by the sound of tons of rubble sliding down the walls, and then an equally loud silence. Moments later, the Salamanders reappeared, looking triumphant, and passed right by them again, returning to their river of fire.

“Do you think they killed it?” Sheila asked.

“I doubt it, but I’d guess it isn’t up for another fight again, and even if it is our weapons might be able to handle it now,” Hank said. “Presto? You ready?”

“I think so,” he panted, but Eric realized he sounded frighteningly weak. “Come on hat, don’t make me frown, and give us a way for us to get down.”

Eric silently thought that if the hat provided a disco ball and a single of “Do the Hustle,” he was going to strangle Presto, but for once he kept his mouth shut. As the group flickered back into visibility, Presto groaned.

“What is it this time?” Bobby asked unenthusiastically.

“Just a stupid box with a button on it,” Presto said, looking at it sadly, and Eric realized Presto was pale as chalk. “What good is that?”

Angrily, he threw the box to the ground, which accidentally pressed the button.

A loud ding along with the sound of opening doors came from the other side of the doorway . The group looked at each other in disbelief.

“Is it me or did that sound like…?” Presto asked.

“An elevator!” Bobby shouted. “Hurry up before it leaves without us!”

The door to the stairwell now opened into a fairly large elevator. Presto was half-carried into it by both Eric and Diana while Varla, who looked at least as badly off, was supported by Hank and Sheila. Once they were all inside--even Venger, who looked deeply perplexed--Eric realized the thing came complete with buttons labeled “River of Fire,” “Gold Mine,” and, most enticingly, “Ground Floor.”

“I do not understand,” Venger said. “What is this metal box?”

When the doors shut and they started descending, he nearly turned the same ashen-color as his former self.

“We’re falling!” he yelled, clambering to open the doors.

“No, we’re just going down to the next level. This is a machine from our world,” Diana said. “Seriously, just relax.”

Venger still looked rather wild-eyed, but he stopped trying to pry the doors open with his hunting knife. Eric rolled his eyes as he realized that a flute-and-tuba-heavy version of “Cecilia” was being piped into the elevator.

“Muzak, Presto?” he said, trying to draw a smile out of the exhausted teenager who had his left arm slung around Eric’s neck. “Seriously?”

But there wasn’t any response, and Presto sank heavily to his knees, as did Varla.

“Terry!” Diana called, but the girl was already standing beside Presto, net in hand.

“Here,” she said, carefully draping it over him, “hang on a few seconds and you should be okay.”

But nothing happened aside from Presto muttering weakly, “Varla first.”

“Why isn’t it working?” Eric said, sounding genuinely frightened as Terry tried the net on Varla in turn with no success either.

“I don’t know,” Terry said, holding it up and staring at it by the light of the florescent lights. “It still feels like it has power running through it, but it’s not doing anything.”

“Maybe it’s broken?” Sheila suggested. “I got a small cut on my leg out there, nothing worth mentioning, but if it won’t heal that then we know it isn’t working.”

Terry wrapped the net around the little abrasion, and it immediately disappeared.

“So, what, it’ll work on sunburns, sprains, and small cuts but it doesn’t do anything at all for whatever this is?” Eric said, raising his voice angrily. “What did Tiamat give you, magical Bactine?”

“No,” Venger said, kneeling to examine the two magicians. “They are not injured.”

“They’re lying on the ground looking like death warmed over,” Diana said, putting a hand on her hip. “I’d call that plenty ‘injured.’”

“They are suffering from exhaustion,” Venger said. “That is not truly an injury. Their strength has been depleted.”

“But why is it so bad?” Sheila asked. “I mean, when you were holding Varla prisoner, she did a lot more than just conceal a group of people for a few minutes, and yeah, she got weak, but nothing like this.”

“It must be an effect of the Underworld,” Venger said.

“And you didn’t tell us about this before why again?” Eric said, getting really upset.

“The Underworld is very unstable,” Venger said just as the elevator dinged once more and the doors opened. “It is a mystery even to me.”

Silently, they carried Presto and Varla out of the elevator, and the doors shut behind them. However, the elevator remained in existence, and considering how long it had taken them to reach this level, Eric was glad they might have an easy ticket back out of here. Unfortunately, that happy thought ran away as soon as he looked at Varla and Presto, both of whom seemed to be getting worse, not better.

“Okay,” he said, his voice completely serious. “We really need to do something for them, the sooner the better.”

“That place where Dungeon Master got better after he teleported us away from the One Whose Name Cannot Be Spoken might help,” Bobby suggested, his face drawn with worry.

“Bobby’s right,” Hank said. “The Well of Power is probably their best bet. We need to get there, pronto.”

“It is not far now,” Venger said, “and the Well is also where the Crystal of the Two Suns is kept.”

“So it’s on our way,” Eric said, trying to sound like his normal self but failing. “Good.”

Uni tugged at Bobby’s wrist and motioned with her head at the two prostrate, practically unconscious humans.

“I don’t think they can stay on your back, Uni,” Bobby said, “but thanks for offering.”

However, Uni became even more insistent, almost panicked.

“Something isn’t right,” Hank said, looking around cautiously, “and I think Uni might know something we don’t. Eric, let’s try to lift them onto her back.”

“You’re the boss,” Eric said, for once without any spite in it, and they managed to get Varla onto Uni’s back with her arms loosely draped around her neck. It took a little more doing to get Presto behind her (and it was a mark of how grave the situation was that Eric never even considered making a crack about him eating too much), but once he was seated, his arms automatically went around Varla.

“You’ll be careful with them, right Uni?” Hank asked.

The unicorn managed an almost intelligible “Yeaaah,” in response.

“Course she will,” Bobby said, stroking her forelock.

“And I’m starting to understand why she didn’t want us carrying them,” Diana said, her javelin glimmering as it extended. “We’re going to have our hands full as it is.”

Eric looked up and realized she was right. At least thirty dark dwarves were approaching them, and they really didn’t look happy.

"Finale" Dark Crystal soundtrack
"Total Eclipse of the Heart" Bonnie Tyler
"In the Sea" America

Chapter 10: Sick at Heart

“Ughar,” Venger said, his voice now deeper than it had been. “I see you remember your master. Give way before I smite you.”

“You are master here no more,” said one of the dwarves, who seemed to be in charge. “Even in the Underworld we have heard of your fall, and we have hoped for a chance at vengeance.”

“We don’t want any trouble,” Hank said. “If Venger did something terrible to you…”

“…which he probably did,” Eric muttered.

“…we’re sorry, but you’re free now, and we’ve got sick friends we need to get to the well. Can you just please let us pass?” he asked.

Ughar looked at him with disgust.

“No,” he said. “The dark dwarves do not forget! We will have our revenge, and any who travel by the side of Venger are our enemies as well.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Eric said, holding his shield higher. “We’re defending Venger from the Lollipop Guild?”

“Looks like,” Hank said, and the fight began again.

The elves wore horned helmets that looked much like Bobby’s but they had the ability to channel magic between the horns and shoot it at their enemies. For such small creatures, they packed a truly heavy wallop, and Bobby’s club was smoking in mere moments while Eric barely managed to keep the unicorn and his semi-conscious friends covered with his shield.

“Uni,” he shouted to her, “I can’t keep this up! You’d better run for it!”

The unicorn whickered agreement and took off at surprising speed over the rocky ground, heading towards a light in the distance.

“I hope she doesn’t drop them,” he said mostly to himself as he ran back into battle.

Diana was fending off the dwarves pretty well with her javelin until one of them managed to hit it with a direct shot from its horns and shattered it in two. Hank’s energy bow was firing rapidly, but the dwarfs seemed almost completely immune to its effects. In fact, Eric was almost sure he saw at least two of them catch a bolt between their horns and rocket it back at them.

Sheila, however, was having much better luck. Protected by her cloak, she deftly stole three helmets from their owners’ heads before they had any idea she was there. She tossed one to Diana and the other to Venger, and the third sailed through the air to Bobby, who caught it with ease. Apparently the helmets could be used by anyone, even humans, and Diana found herself laughing as she aimed the horns towards the dwarfs and they scampered away. Even Venger found this did not fall under the ban that kept him from using magic, and he rather gleefully shot at Ughar. In another few minutes, Sheila had successfully stolen every last helmet from the dwarfs, who turned tail and ran.

“This is not the end of our war!” Ughar yelled as he followed his people into the darkness. “We shall return!”

“Whatever, MacArthur,” Eric said, wiping the grime off his shield.

“Nice job, Sheila,” Hank said, giving her a warm smile that lasted perhaps a second longer than strictly necessary. “Let’s get to that well before they come back with reinforcements.”

“MacArthur?” Diana asked as she ran beside Eric on their way to the well.

“I paid attention in history once,” he said. “I got so bored I actually listened to the teacher.”

“Full circle boredom,” Diana said, grinning. “Nice.”

However, when they reached the cave where the Well of Power and the Crystal of the Two Suns were, they stopped smiling. Uni was splayed across the ground. Apparently she’d taken a hit from one of the dwarfs, but she’d still managed to get Presto and Varla to their destination. The two magicians were tumbled on the ground, even paler than before and completely insensible. They hadn’t been able to drag themselves into the well.

“What are you standing around for!” Eric yelled at the dumbstruck group. “Move!”

He grabbed Presto and hauled him bodily to the well while Hank took Varla.

“This had better work,” Eric said as he dumped Presto unceremoniously into the churning white water.

Hank made no response as he grimly added Varla to the well. No sooner did she disappear below the surface than a bright, pulsing light emanated from the well, filling the cavern. A hand broke through the waves, and Hank grabbed it, helping Presto pull himself from the water. His other hand was clinging to Varla’s, and she too emerged looking well again. Between their joined hands was a crystal.

“Is that…?” Eric asked.

“The Crystal of the Two Suns,” Varla assured him. “We have it at last!”

“Then let’s get out of here,” he said.

“Wait,” Sheila said. “What about Uni?”

Eric had completely forgotten about the unicorn, and apparently he wasn’t the only one. He turned to see Bobby and Terry were standing by her, trying desperately to lift her. Bobby was crying openly. Uni wasn’t moving at all.

“The net didn’t work,” Terry said, near sobbing herself as the rest of them crowded around, trying to help. “She’s hurt too bad.”

“We gotta get her in the well,” Bobby said, cradling the unicorn’s head. “Maybe that’ll work.”

“Okay, Bobby,” Hank said gently, shouldering most of her weight. “Okay, we’ve got her. We’ll put her in.”

Eric, Presto, Diana, Sheila, Hank, and even Venger took hold of Uni and carried her to the well, lowering her in. They waited, watching the waters churning, but then they slowly became still, and their light dimmed. When the well became as still as a pond, the group looked at one another in utter horror.

“Uni?” Bobby asked, his voice cracking. “Uni!”

Before anyone could stop him, he plunged into the water after her, searching for her, but there was no body to be found. By the time he broke the surface of the water, he was screaming.

“She’s not here! She’s gone! They… they killed her!” Bobby yelled, almost incoherent with grief.

Silently, Hank lifted him out of the water, and he collapsed on the ground, shaking with sobs.

“I’m so sorry, Bobby,” Sheila said, kneeling beside him, tears streaming down her face as well.

But there was nothing anyone could do.

“We have to leave,” Hank said, grimacing. “Those dark dwarfs could be back any second.”

Eric was never sure how they managed to get Bobby out of the Dungeon at the Heart of Dawn, and he didn’t really want to know. In spite of what he always said, he’d been very fond of the unicorn too, and there was obviously something in his eye when they returned to the elevator. They crowded inside, and Presto hit the button marked “Ground Floor.” The ride up was silent save for the sounds of Bobby crying; even the horrible elevator music had disappeared.

When the doors opened once again, they were facing a green pasture. Bobby stumbled outside and sat on a rock in the middle of a clump of little blue wildflowers. After a few minutes, Eric awkwardly approached him.

“I… uh, I want to say I’m sorry,” Eric said.

Bobby just looked up at him.

“I know that, uh, that is to say, if I hadn’t told Uni to take Presto and Varla to the well, or if I’d gone with her and used my shield as cover, I mean,” Eric said, stumbling over his words and feeling completely miserable. “I just… I never wanted her to get hurt, Bobby. Really. I’m sorry.”

“You were the one who told her to go?” Bobby asked, and his jaw clenched.

“Yes,” Eric admitted, hanging his head. “It’s my fault.”

It took less than a blink for Bobby to be on his feet, pounding his fists against the armor on Eric’s chest until his fingers were bruised, screaming at him and kicking his shins with as much force as he could muster. Eric stood perfectly still, not defending himself at all, looking as though he barely felt the attack.

“Bobby, that’s enough!” Hank said, dragging the boy off the Cavalier, and Bobby turned into his arms and started to cry afresh before stumbling off to be by himself under a tree a little way off.

Sheila went to follow him, but Terry stopped her.

“No,” she said, glancing back at him. “He needs to be alone. He’ll let us know when he’s ready.”

Eric was still standing exactly where he had been, head down, eyes shut. He didn’t even hear Diana approach.

“It’s not, you know,” Diana said.

“Not what?” Eric asked, and it seemed like just talking took too much effort.

“Your fault,” Diana said, putting her hand under his chin to get him to look at her. “You didn’t kill Uni. The dark dwarfs did.”

“And I was the one who put her into danger,” Eric said, glaring at her defiantly. “It was me who did that.”

“If you hadn’t, Presto and Varla might be the ones dead right now,” Diana said. “We needed you in the fight, and Uni did what she needed to do to keep everybody safe.”

“Yeah,” Eric said hopelessly, glancing towards the tree and the indistinct shape of the kid underneath it. “Tell that to Bobby.”